Tuesday, January 7, 2014

recent altercations

When I was pregnant with Lennon and Larry I remember feeling extra laid back.  Super steady and emotionally high. With Ruby I was confrontational.  No filter.  This time I began very sick and therefore emotional which has morphed into confrontational meets easily bugged at people. 

Luckily I've only had two public altercations -- both with men -- to date.  The first one happened in a restaurant back when I was just trying to keep my breakfast down and decided to take the kids to grab lunch and head to the park.  This was a big deal after weeks of couch living and watching Disney movies on repeat just to survive.  As I was paying for our meal Ruby dripped a little of her Fruit Punch on the counter.  I apologized to the lady and asked for a rag; she replied it was no big deal and she was happy to get it.  After all I was holding a huge bag of food, drinks and a 24 lb one year old with her brother in tow.  I thanked her, tipped her, and left.

As I pushed the door open to leave a large man on a tennis date said loudly, "Ohhhh don't worry, I got this...THANKS A LOT!" as HE wiped up Ruby's teeny tiny mess.

Unrelated pic of Larry riding his bike
I stopped and walked back in.

Me: Are you thanking me?
Man: (startled) Nope.
Me: Why did you just say Thanks a lot?
Man: I was just saying thanks for leaving (still wiping up mess, avoiding eye contact).
Me: I didn't clean that up because this nice lady offered to do it for me.  My hands were full.  I would've been happy to do it myself.
Man: Yeah...I get it.  I have three kids.  I just don't ask other people to CLEAN UP AFTER ME.
Me: Wow.  So you have three kids?  I would think you OF ALL PEOPLE would understand....

Blahblahblah.  It went on until I finally left and then drove to the park and cried.  Glad he wasn't my date.

And then our neighbor. 

HE'S ON A SIDEWALK!
I took the kids for a walk over Christmas break - pushing Ruby in the stroller and the boys on bikes.  They like to ride off and on the sidewalks.  As we rounded the corner to head home a car came flying up the street, flipped around, and backed into his driveway.  Going three times too fast.  So fast I couldn't even warn the boys to get out of the way.  We were obviously visible.  He didn't care.  I sent the kids to the garage and walked over to his house.  He was still in his car so I walked into his garage.  We'd never met. 

Me: Excuse me, are you a father?
Neighbor: Yes, I am (he has grandkids).
Me: If your kids were on bikes around the neighborhood would you want people driving that fast?
Neighbor: I was driving the speed limit!
Me: Is that slow enough when kids are on bikes?
Neighbor: Well when I was raising my kids, I held their hands on walks and we STAYED ON THE SIDEWALK!
Me: So you want me to hold three kids' hands as we walk on the sidewalk?  You want me to tell my six and four year old no more bikes because Mom has to hold their hands?
Neighbor: My kids rode their bikes on sidewalks.
Me: People back out of driveways just as fast so neither is very safe.  But thankfully YOU were such a good parent.  I guess I should be apologizing to YOU for being such a horrible mother!  Please continue speeding up and down these streets and I will keep my kids off their bikes and on SIDEWALKS ONLY!  SO SORRY for my mistake!!!!!!

Unrelated pic of Lennon being a good brother


Ruby at church

19 weeks
Almost halfway there.

4 comments:

IronLawGirl said...

Holly, I'm taking a page from your book, and am resolving to be more confrontational this year! I love it you feisty mama bear!

MediocreMama said...

Kris, I should be embarrassed and I'm not. Go for it.

Michelle Jensen said...

Hi there, Just want to say that you are so hilarious and refreshing. I don't really know why/how the heck I found your blog… well I actually do I clicked on a friend's pic on instagram that she liked on one of your friends' pic that had a pic of you and then found your instagram and then clicked on your site which is REALLY out of character for me. Anyway, I guess It was for a reason and who knows really why but I'm here now and I read your letter for 2010 and it was sad :( I actually lost my dad in 2012 and my brother 2007 - in a family of five so that is a lot of people missing and it just felt safe? to find out that someone out there might be experiencing a little of what I am. Also, it pretty much was identical to a letter I should have wrote about my 2012 but didn't. So congrats to you for writing all your thoughts down because they are awesome. Your feelings come through so clear and then I read the fun stuff like how you are pregnant and to see all your cute pics. So anyway, I'm not sure if you really actually DO want blost friends but I just thought I would say Hey you are amazing! You really are :) oh and btw I am from Tooele and I am a quilter and my kids are in school now so life is getting a LOT easier :) Thanks for sharing!

Michelle Jensen said...

Hi there, Just want to say that you are so hilarious and refreshing. I don't really know why/how the heck I found your blog… well I actually do I clicked on a friend's pic on instagram that she liked on one of your friends' pic that had a pic of you and then found your instagram and then clicked on your site which is REALLY out of character for me. Anyway, I guess It was for a reason and who knows really why but I'm here now and I read your letter for 2010 and it was sad :( I actually lost my dad in 2012 and my brother 2007 - in a family of five so that is a lot of people missing and it just felt safe? to find out that someone out there might be experiencing a little of what I am. Also, it pretty much was identical to a letter I should have wrote about my 2012 but didn't. So congrats to you for writing all your thoughts down because they are awesome. Your feelings come through so clear and then I read the fun stuff like how you are pregnant and to see all your cute pics. So anyway, I'm not sure if you really actually DO want blost friends but I just thought I would say Hey you are amazing! You really are :) oh and btw I am from Tooele and I am a quilter and my kids are in school now so life is getting a LOT easier :) Thanks for sharing!