a few items

what I don't care about right now:

Barbara Walters' retirement
Barbara Walters in general
Oprah, Hillary Clinton and the entire cast of The View, past and present.
My weight
Billboard Music Awards tonight
Kimye
The man who told me I was "big as a house" at church today.  Asked twice if I was expecting twins. Laughed and laughed and laughed. Maybe I should actually put these comments under the category: Stuff that made me mad and also made me want to cry.  And another category: Reasons I may not go to church for awhile.
The Fault in our Stars and other wordy books that are overrated.  I felt like I was choking on every...single...clever...conversation.  If you see John Green tell him I said he's not that great.
Whether or not my kids are brushing their teeth.  Who has the energy.

what I do care about right now:

ice
I'm down to half a bag right now...Sonic tomorrow.
kettle potato chips
the pain in my back
the pain in my ribs
what we will name this baby
the fact that I made it through baseball season
the fact that by the end of it we were down to one mitt...where the rest of it went, we may never know.
the fact that I left two weeks worth of meat in the car overnight last night.  Went to put in a roast this morning and...there was no roast. 

This picture:



13 days left.  Three more hours of church.  Two Mondays.  Two Friday nights.  etcetcetcetc....

recent altercations

When I was pregnant with Lennon and Larry I remember feeling extra laid back.  Super steady and emotionally high. With Ruby I was confrontational.  No filter.  This time I began very sick and therefore emotional which has morphed into confrontational meets easily bugged at people. 

Luckily I've only had two public altercations -- both with men -- to date.  The first one happened in a restaurant back when I was just trying to keep my breakfast down and decided to take the kids to grab lunch and head to the park.  This was a big deal after weeks of couch living and watching Disney movies on repeat just to survive.  As I was paying for our meal Ruby dripped a little of her Fruit Punch on the counter.  I apologized to the lady and asked for a rag; she replied it was no big deal and she was happy to get it.  After all I was holding a huge bag of food, drinks and a 24 lb one year old with her brother in tow.  I thanked her, tipped her, and left.

As I pushed the door open to leave a large man on a tennis date said loudly, "Ohhhh don't worry, I got this...THANKS A LOT!" as HE wiped up Ruby's teeny tiny mess.

Unrelated pic of Larry riding his bike

I stopped and walked back in.

Me: Are you thanking me?
Man: (startled) Nope.
Me: Why did you just say Thanks a lot?
Man: I was just saying thanks for leaving (still wiping up mess, avoiding eye contact).
Me: I didn't clean that up because this nice lady offered to do it for me.  My hands were full.  I would've been happy to do it myself.
Man: Yeah...I get it.  I have three kids.  I just don't ask other people to CLEAN UP AFTER ME.
Me: Wow.  So you have three kids?  I would think you OF ALL PEOPLE would understand....

Blahblahblah.  It went on until I finally left and then drove to the park and cried.  Glad he wasn't my date.

And then our neighbor. 

HE'S ON A SIDEWALK!

I took the kids for a walk over Christmas break - pushing Ruby in the stroller and the boys on bikes.  They like to ride off and on the sidewalks.  As we rounded the corner to head home a car came flying up the street, flipped around, and backed into his driveway.  Going three times too fast.  So fast I couldn't even warn the boys to get out of the way.  We were obviously visible.  He didn't care.  I sent the kids to the garage and walked over to his house.  He was still in his car so I walked into his garage.  We'd never met. 

Me: Excuse me, are you a father?
Neighbor: Yes, I am (he has grandkids).
Me: If your kids were on bikes around the neighborhood would you want people driving that fast?
Neighbor: I was driving the speed limit!
Me: Is that slow enough when kids are on bikes?
Neighbor: Well when I was raising my kids, I held their hands on walks and we STAYED ON THE SIDEWALK!
Me: So you want me to hold three kids' hands as we walk on the sidewalk?  You want me to tell my six and four year old no more bikes because Mom has to hold their hands?
Neighbor: My kids rode their bikes on sidewalks.
Me: People back out of driveways just as fast so neither is very safe.  But thankfully YOU were such a good parent.  I guess I should be apologizing to YOU for being such a horrible mother!  Please continue speeding up and down these streets and I will keep my kids off their bikes and on SIDEWALKS ONLY!  SO SORRY for my mistake!!!!!!

Unrelated pic of Lennon being a good brother

Ruby at church

19 weeks

Almost halfway there.

i'm pregnant

I'm pregnant.  This will be our fourth child.  I feel scared/crazy/ambitious/tired.

Mostly tired.

The first trimester was ugly.  U-G-L-Y.

My documentation of seven weeks of sick.

 My sink still looks like this.  I feel physically unable to unload and load the dishwasher.  By the time Tod unloads it, it's completely loaded and ready to wash what was in the sink. 

 

Couldn't get her to hold still.  She loved her crown.

 On my worst day I couldn't get off the couch.  Nausea was overwhelming.  I ordered a pizza for dinner but felt bugged when the pizza man rang my doorbell.  YOU WANT ME TO GET UP?!  That night Lennon seemed to understand and took his siblings in the backyard for about an hour.  He made them crowns and swords and they played until bedtime.  I love him.

Food was my friend and my worst enemy.  If I didn't eat every hour or so, the nausea was unbearable.  However, nothing sounded good and I was sick of eating.  Although I wanted pumpkin bread on a regular basis.  One day these were delivered...my sweet Canadian Megan ordered them and had them sent to me.  Made me cry. I also cried today watching The Little Mermaid with Ruby.  Just the sacrifice that King Triton made so his daughter could be happy...knowing he would miss her...he wanted her in the sea and she wanted those legs.  I was bawling.

 

And don't even get me started on Paul Walker.  I choke up just talking about him.

 I took a picture of this because WHO EATS THIS post-gym or just before bed.  Sick.  I'd also come home from the gym and cook up a couple packs of Ramen.  Who needs a protein shake or some fruit. 

 

Oh yeah...I don't really eat fruits or vegetables anymore.  Although do pickles count?

 And there were about three weeks when this combo was all I could stomach.  I went through a jar of pickles per week.  Judge all you want.  But then try this and you'll apologize.

Finally -- maternity clothes shopping for the fourth and final time.  Sort of depressing.  Sort of exciting.  Pretty scary.  Three feels like a lot.  Four feels like the end of my world.  15 weeks now and holding food down.  Gagging on my toothbrush still but then recovering.  Glad that part is behind me.

And glad I already look eight months pregnant.  No I'm not having twins.  Let's keep those big belly comments to ourselves or to our friends at the park, ok?