Luckily I've only had two public altercations -- both with men -- to date. The first one happened in a restaurant back when I was just trying to keep my breakfast down and decided to take the kids to grab lunch and head to the park. This was a big deal after weeks of couch living and watching Disney movies on repeat just to survive. As I was paying for our meal Ruby dripped a little of her Fruit Punch on the counter. I apologized to the lady and asked for a rag; she replied it was no big deal and she was happy to get it. After all I was holding a huge bag of food, drinks and a 24 lb one year old with her brother in tow. I thanked her, tipped her, and left.
As I pushed the door open to leave a large man on a tennis date said loudly, "Ohhhh don't worry, I got this...THANKS A LOT!" as HE wiped up Ruby's teeny tiny mess.
|Unrelated pic of Larry riding his bike
Me: Are you thanking me?
Man: (startled) Nope.
Me: Why did you just say Thanks a lot?
Man: I was just saying thanks for leaving (still wiping up mess, avoiding eye contact).
Me: I didn't clean that up because this nice lady offered to do it for me. My hands were full. I would've been happy to do it myself.
Man: Yeah...I get it. I have three kids. I just don't ask other people to CLEAN UP AFTER ME.
Me: Wow. So you have three kids? I would think you OF ALL PEOPLE would understand....
Blahblahblah. It went on until I finally left and then drove to the park and cried. Glad he wasn't my date.
And then our neighbor.
|HE'S ON A SIDEWALK!
Me: Excuse me, are you a father?
Neighbor: Yes, I am (he has grandkids).
Me: If your kids were on bikes around the neighborhood would you want people driving that fast?
Neighbor: I was driving the speed limit!
Me: Is that slow enough when kids are on bikes?
Neighbor: Well when I was raising my kids, I held their hands on walks and we STAYED ON THE SIDEWALK!
Me: So you want me to hold three kids' hands as we walk on the sidewalk? You want me to tell my six and four year old no more bikes because Mom has to hold their hands?
Neighbor: My kids rode their bikes on sidewalks.
Me: People back out of driveways just as fast so neither is very safe. But thankfully YOU were such a good parent. I guess I should be apologizing to YOU for being such a horrible mother! Please continue speeding up and down these streets and I will keep my kids off their bikes and on SIDEWALKS ONLY! SO SORRY for my mistake!!!!!!
|Unrelated pic of Lennon being a good brother
|Ruby at church