post on mom

Ann Dee, this is for you AND for Grandma AND of course, for my mom.

My mom was present when all four of my babies were born.  I have memories of each but I'll never forget when Ruby was born.  It was April 5th when we checked into the hospital and I was uncomfortable and in a lot of pain.  When I arrived they told me I was at a 5 and would probably have this baby within a couple hours.  A couple hours turned into a few hours and soon it was 1 am and still no baby.  The room was FREEZING and Tod finally fell asleep on a chair next to me.  My mom found a blanket and stayed up with me for awhile but eventually fell asleep as well.  I remember that dark hospital room, ice cold, monitors beeping.  Next to me my sleeping husband and across from me my sleeping mom.  My sleeping mom who had been here before.  Who had been in labor, in the newborn sleepless night phase, who had raised small children into teenagers and who now had four adult kids.  I was so thankful to have her right there, sleeping near me.  I watched Gone with the Wind that night by myself while they slept.  Throughout the night she'd wake up and ask me if I was okay or if anything had changed.  By morning....still no baby.  She didn't dare leave for breakfast because she didn't want to miss anything.  And she was standing right next to me when my stomach started to change shapes and I told her to look and we both said, THAT BABY IS FLIPPING OVER!  And Ruby was flipping over.  As soon as she did, the contractions came closer and harder and pretty soon the nurse announced I was at a 10 PLUS.  This is when bright lights are wheeled in and the room fills with nurses and the doctor shows up and starts talking to Tod and it became very hectic.  I will never forget, though, this quiet feeling I had inside and how the thought of my dad came rushing to my head.  I mentioned this to my mom and it seemed like all noise went away for a minute as he told my little girl goodbye.  I felt him there as I looked right at my mom.

 The room became very quiet as they dimmed the ceiling lights and the doctor told me to push.  It felt like everyone was whispering and there was no drama or panic.  After a few pushes, he held up a baby and I saw that it was my first girl.  My only daughter.  And I looked over at my mom and she had tears streaming down her face.  Ruby was the best most spectacular surprise of my life and my mom was there for it. I will always be grateful.  Happy Mother's Day to the incredible women in my life.

Thanks Ann Dee xoxoxo

i love my mom

We had some visitors this weekend...luckily we got a couple pictures before they left.  This is what our kitchen looks like five minutes before church starts:

 Backwards prom picture plus baby

 Accessory fight before church...Tod and my mom said YES, I said NO --her head isn't big enough. I lost.

This one couldn't keep his hands off her all weekend.  Except when he was super busy, obviously.

I love when my mom comes because we can sit and talk about nothing or anything for hours. We laugh pretty hard when we're together.  She's a funny lady who will tell you the truth if you dare ask.  Or not ask.  Like when she explained that I didn't know how to do my baby's hair or when she went to the store and bought like 500 new wash cloths for the kitchen because "who doesn't have wash cloths in their kitchen?"  Or jam?

 

When Tod and I were engaged we took a road trip with my mom to Vegas.  I remember sitting in the backseat and listening to Tod telling my mom stories and the two of them laughing so hard they were crying.  I felt like the third wheel.  Glad it's that way.

 

Thanks for the new books, new onesie for Roo and for stopping by, B & K.

wedding

So many people have asked me how the wedding went.  Was I happy? was I sad? was it weird? did I cry?

yes yes yes yes

 In many ways I'm an adult -- I'm married, I have three kids, I live in a house, we pay our own bills, we drive cars that we purchased ourselves...

In other ways I'm still a kid.  I still want to come home to the same family I had growing up.  I still want to hear my parents laughing to David Letterman as I fall asleep.  I still want the house I grew up in and the room in the basement with the John Lennon poster in the corner.  I still want my mom to cook for me and I still want my dad on the couch when I walk through the door. 

 But life is full of change. My mom has found someone and she is happy.  He loves her. They both needed a good change.  Deserved a good change.  I believe it will be a good change for all of us.  It just takes time. 

 The couple looked stunning and the waffles were unbelievable.  I think about them sometimes.  The waffles I mean.

And our little beauty almost stole the show. 

This picture reminds me that sad times are followed by good ones and that it's okay that life replaces death.