we can do hard things

I mentioned in an earlier post our family's 2014-2015 motto: We can do hard things.

Tod chose it and taught the kids about Abraham Lincoln; he had multiple failures before becoming a powerful president.  His first wife died tragically, he was publicly ridiculed, and lost many elections before he finally won.  His point to us -- we don't give up when things get hard.  We get up and we keep trying.  We do our best even if it's just one day at a time. 

A couple weeks later was Fast Sunday which is when members of the congregation can voluntarily share their testimony from the pulpit.  As people started going up Lennon climbed over me and walked up to the front.  I looked at Tod and he shrugged his shoulders -- neither of us had told him to stand. We've never encouraged our kids to publicly bear their testimonies because we've wanted it to be their choice.

So I sat in the pew and listened while my seven year old son bore his testimony.  He said:

I want to bear my testimony today about families.  Families are a big part of Heavenly Father's plan.  But not all families are the same.  Some have a mom and a dad.  Some have just a mom alone or just a dad alone.  Some have kids and some don't. Sometimes there aren't parents but grandparents instead.  But it doesn't matter.  Every family looks different - but that's all part of the plan.  Heavenly Father made it that way on purpose.  In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

And then he sat down.

I was touched by such a simple testimony about something so true. 

The next day a text came from Tommy:

I just wanted to let you know today Shantay had a routine ultrasound and the measurements of our baby are off.  Head and torso measuring at 32 weeks.  Legs measure at 20 weeks.  Shantay met with a genetics doctor and early signs point to dwarfism.  We will know for sure a week from today.

That Friday their doctor called to confirm that their baby did have Achondroplasia or dwarfism.

This news has been a shock to our family and especially to Tommy and Shantay.  We are worried about their baby's health, Shantay and the delivery, his quality of life, etc... However, there has also been a definitive peace as well.  Somehow things will be okay.  Just different than we expected.  He is about to join a family who is fiercely loyal, has faith in God, and puts family first.  He will be loved and protected.

I've also been thinking about Lennon's testimony.  Every family is different.  Some of our problems are easy to see and others are private and hidden from the world.  Some struggles are physical while others are emotional, financial or spiritual.  But they're there.  We are all different and fighting personal battles everyday.  And like Lennon said, Heavenly Father made it that way on purpose. 

My Grandma Jewel used to sing us a song...usually when we didn't want to pull weeds...and now I sing it to my kids (and myself) all the time.

If a thing is hard to do, I'll not sit and cry.

I will sing a happy song and try, try, TRY.

 

We can do hard things.

T.Q.W.

 

Tod and I agreed while I was pregnant -- if the baby was a boy, we'd name him Thomas. 

 

My only brother's name is Thomas Knight Lowell.  I was mean to him growing up -- like really mean.  I have no clue why.  Now he's one of my best friends.  But he grew up with a pretty sick dad and three kind of crappy sisters.

 

He deserved a really good apology.

 

He's also a huge part of my kids' lives.  With my dad gone, it feels like Tommy has become the guy they look up to (besides Tod).  He's taught them how to trash talk and sends them Ninja Turtle eye masks in the mail.

 

Additionally, my mom's little brother's name is Tommy.  He was Sam's twin and died when he was only four weeks old.  I have many memories of holidays or parties with our family where my grandma would stop all of us and remind us about Tommy.  That he lived.  That he existed.  That he was our uncle/brother.  That we can't forget Tommy.

 

Now she is with Tommy, raising her little boy.

 

My mom raised her Tommy.

 

Now I get my own.

 

His middle name is Quentin because in 1999 I met Quentin James Bell on Vashon Island, WA.  We were both a part of a program through Ricks College that took 25 freshman and offered a semester of school on alternate campus sites.  Vashon Island was where I began my college experience and Quentin (Q) was there following his mission to Denver.

 

We were immediate friends -- mainly because we laughed at each other's jokes and were the only ones who cringed when one particular motivational speaker encouraged us to be "more better." 

 

Maybe you had to be there.

 

One day after we'd moved to Rexburg, Idaho to continue school he found me in the library where I worked.

 

Q: Holly...we need to talk (pulling me into an aisle of books).

Me: What.

Q: I have found....the man....you're going to marry.

Me: Who.

Q: That guy right there...the one making copies.

 

I looked through the books and saw a muscular guy wearing a yellow collared golf shirt (?) making copies.

 

Me: What's so great about him.

Q: He's like....a REAL man.  He's hilarious, he's smart, he's the hardest working guy I know, and I worked out with him this morning....he's an ANIMAL.

Me: Huh.

 

And so it continued...two years of Ricks College...Q telling me all the reasons I should date/marry Tod and me wishing Tod would just ask me out.  I got to know Tod through Q's stories as his roommate and best friend.  Because of Q, I spent a lot of time observing Tod as a friend.  I even remember a dance where I saw Q beg and beg until Tod finally asked me to dance.  Twice. 

 

It's in my journal.

 

  Four years later when we finally started dating, I remember feeling overwhelming gratitude for Q.  For caring enough about both of us to want our happiness.  And for knowing us well enough to recognize our perfect match.

 

Thomas Quentin Wever -- he's special already.