Monday, June 3, 2013

Fast Sunday Fight plus Our House is Falling Apart

Almost every picture in this post is messed up.  It figures.
Right now our dishwasher is broken, our water filter light is flashing, there are only two rooms upstairs with working lights (including hallway), our TiVo service is down because I threw away my debit card with the rest of my pharmacy bag because WHY WOULD YOU PUT A DEBIT CARD IN A PLASTIC SACK?  Just hand it to me. 
Additionally, our turtle died. His remains are still in that habitat I almost broke my back creating.  We had friends over for dinner last night and Larry lifted the lid to show everyone mid-bite.
Lennon cut his own hair.  Right after I paid for a haircut.
 Oh and Larry pulled down my curtains last week.  It's fine.  I'm fine. 
But here's the good news.  Our office secretary Karla recently found Tod's Dominican twin.

 And finally -- our family fought all morning before church yesterday.
I blame Fast Sundays
The boys kept waking up the baby.  We kicked them out of the house and banished them to the backyard.  We don't want to see you eat or hear your voices.  Goodbye.  Leave.  Go play with your turtle...remains.
Tod decided to clean out our junk drawer which made me feel like a horrible housekeeper.  Every comment felt personal.
"Wow!  When's the last time we de-junked this drawer?!  How old are these gift cards?  These pens don't even have lids on them..."
I was trying to get dinner ready before church and was running out of time.
Me: Hey, I've already peeled these butternut squashes...will you just chop them up for me?
Tod: Sure.
{15 seconds later}
Tod: I can't do this.  You have water in the sink, the seeds are going everywhere...these aren't suitable working conditions.
Me: Put the seeds in the garbage can.
Tod: I just....can't.  I can't do this.  It's like asking someone to paint a house but not giving them any paint or paint brushes.
Me: {grabbing the knife somewhat violently and begin chopping loudly}
Tod: {walks in and out of room, I'm banging stuff around, I am slamming squash seeds into the trash...not the sink...finally he bends over and his face is two inches from my knife...SMILING...}
Tod: You're doing such a great job with this.
Me: Wow thanks!  Just stand there and watch while I finish dinner, THEN dress all the kids, THEN dress myself, THEN load the car, THEN...
On the way to church Tod kept trying to make me laugh but I was MAD MAD MAD.  Finally he mentioned that maybe we were hungry... 
After eating dinner that night I was willing to admit he was right.


IronLawGirl said...

Hahah! That may be the best part about being pregnant. I tried to be discrete as I ate my PB&H sandwich in Sunday School.

Oh, and Ryan would just plain out play dumb: I don't know how to cut it. Well I don't know how big of pieces you want. I don't know what knife to use, etc.
But it's worked. I hardly ask him to help anymore. The kids are better at it!

IronLawGirl said...

Oh, and how did I forget to gawk at Tod's twin?!?! Has he asked his mom how his twin ended up in the DR?

Carol said...

Laughing ... So hard! ;-)

Ryan Smart said...

It's common doctrine that fasting drives the spirit away-you need to know the evil to know the good. I also like the "chopping loudly" as if the daggers in your eyes didn't drive the point home. Tod's the best.

Loriann Jensen said...

There's an "Everybody Loves Raymond" episode like that where Raymond does everything bad so that his wife won't ask him to do it again. We call it pulling a Raymond in our house and I call Delwyn on it all the time. They think they're so clever. =]