Friday, April 20, 2012

tod gets fresh at the gym

Tod came home from the gym the other morning and relayed the following story.

Tod: So after I finished my workout I headed to the car.  I was all sweaty from running and just bought a new cover for the steering wheel and didn't want to get it dirty.  So instead of touching the actual steering wheel I decided to use the inner part of the steering wheel.

Me: What's the inner part of the steering wheel.

Tod: You know like the middle of it instead of touching the outside of it.  Anyways, I backed out...using the middle of the wheel, but as I went to move forward my hand accidentally hit the horn.  I looked up and there was a...nice...blonde lady...crossing the street in front of me.

Me: So like a hot girl?

Tod: She was...a...pretty lady...and she looked up at me with the dirtiest look ever like I was honking at her.  She looked like...someone who gets honked at a lot. [PAUSE]

Me: Go on.

Tod: So I sat there so embarrassed wondering if I should tell her I didn't mean to honk at her but just as I thought that I did it AGAIN.

Me: You honked at her a second time?

Tod: Well I wasn't TRYING to honk at her but only trying to keep my steering wheel clean but it's not easy using the middle part of the steering wheel.  She looked back at me even more mad and I just felt so dirty. 

Me: Maybe just wash your hands next time.


Lauren Green said...

I think I need to stop reading your Tod stories. My opinion of him changes every time I read one.

tod said...

Thanks of my lifelong dreams has always been to somehow offend every women on the planet simultaneously. Now that you have helped me accomplish this via the web I'm not really sure what is left for me to do.
In it's original form I sort of thought this story was, ummm...........confidential. FYI, it was not my fault that the lady decided to walk in front of MY car while I accidentally hit the horn on my sweaty steering wheel. After it happened I didn't understand why she was burning a hole in my forehead with her eyes. When I realized what had happened I mouthed the word, "sorry..." and quickly tried to get away when the horn went off again in my haste. I was just as surprised and scared as she was.

alana said...