Friday, July 30, 2010

Facebook bugs me

Tonight I'm bugged so I decided to post this not-cute picture of myself from last year because 1. I've already said it's liberating to post gross pictures of oneself online and 2. doesn't it look like Tod's hairy leg is my hairy leg? Hahahaha see I already feel better.

Why I'm bugged? Tonight Facebook bugged me because sometimes I get honestly so sick of people's updates (don't worry, not yours) and how they make every freaking day of their lives seem like some Utopic dream they're living. This is what I want to write a dissertation on someday -- WHY people feel the need to say what they say on Facebook? Is it to be informative? Is it to impress? Is it to compensate? Is it to fool us into thinking their life is something it's not? Is it totally innocent and just for fun? Is it to initiate discussion? I want to know WHY. I also want to know why we blog? Same thing -- is it to show who we REALLY are or who who we WISH we were? I feel like I blog because it makes me feel connected. It makes me feel like when something good or bad happens I can put it out there and get some feedback which makes me feel like I'm not alone.

On Father's Day I wrote a note to my dad on his Facebook wall telling him I loved him. My brother asked, "So you think Dad reads his Facebook account even though he's dead?" Good question but that's not the point. I don't necessarily believe he's reading it but I do feel the need to put it out there; to get it off my chest and put it somewhere else instead of keeping it to myself.

But why, oh why the crappy Facebook updates? I once dared a friend to respond to one particular update with the words, "NO ONE CARES." We both chickened out but wouldn't it feel good once in awhile? Anyone out there willing to do it for us all? I think it would make me/us/everyone feel a little better.

[Let me clarify that I don't feel this way about all FB updates. Just 90% of them...]

24 comments:

Sarah said...

I feel the same way about people's blogs...that's why I had to stop reading them for a bit. I felt like everyone's lives were full of parties, vacations, and cute clothes and projects and that mine is boring. Blah.

Amy said...

Ditto. Only I'm more like Sarah. Instead of feeling bugged, I just feel like a loser. And I hope to death I'm not one of those ones you talked about...I just scrolled through my updates to check...

Tolly+L+L said...

See here's why I don't usually say anything...I would never want friends to think I'm judging their posts. Nononononono it's not like that at all. It's those people who just bug, you know? Those ones who just never let up and who always paint such a rosy picture. I think when life is good it should be shared....but sometimes people just take it too far.

I also think when it's my friends like you guys it's not annoying because I know you. Does this make sense? The people who bug me on Facebook probably never even read my blog which is why I wrote what I wrote. Amy you couldn't bug me if you tried. :)

And yes Sarah about blogs. I think sometimes people think I paint a negative or mean picture of Tod or of my kids on my blog but it's probably because I never want to glamorize anything or make people feel like my life is so much better than theirs. If anything, I want to relate to people because sometimes life sucks and I think we should all admit it and talk about it and move on, ya know?

Jessica =)) said...

I just did it for you... "NO ONE CARES". I just did it. My friend laughed at me and said, "huh?". Haha, hope you feel better, I do!


Maybe people do have those days when life just sucks but on those days they just don't think about posting/blogging it. Maybe on the days when life is just,"so amazing" they have this amazing desire to let everyone know how great they're feeling/doing. Awesome thing about you is, people can come here on your blog and sigh a sigh of relief and know, okay, there is someone out there who has my same conflicts sometimes. Only, you make them fun, entertaining and make everyone smile... all at once.

A City Girl said...

I have to agree with you. It is so annoying. I get so sick of people’s “happy” comments when I know exactly how they are feeling inside and it’s not that rosy. Face book is in interactive tool not a place where only good stuff can happen. But then there’s those people where you think at any minute they are about to off themselves with all their negative comments. I personally hardly ever update my status anymore because I don’t want to be one of those people. And I love your blog. I can’t really remember how I stumble upon it but I loved the fact that you wrote post about stuff your “honest” husband said to you. I liked how you wrote the good and the bad about your kids. Because guess what, my life is the same way. And I felt that I could relate to you and know that I am not the only person that sometimes just wants to vent or escape for a few minutes. So believe me you are not alone. Keep doing what you are doing because you make mommies and wives like me know that life isn’t perfect and sometimes silly and bad things happen, but it only makes us stronger.

Ryan Smart said...

Okay here's my take. I usually only get pissed about the comments of people that I may be slightly jealous of and don't want to admit. The lame people are lame so I just laugh at their lameness. Most people do, whether they like it or not post because of the feeling that it makes them feel better about themselves. My general rule of thumb is that Facebook is for single people and blogs are for married people. I just started using my facebook account again because it let's me post pictures real easy and I have single friends that read it. I have probably indulged myself a little here and there, but peeps in general are insecure. I could never post a nasty picture of myself, unfortunately they all end up that way so it evens itself out.

Kristin said...

Firstly: I thought Tod's knee was Larry's head and he just had a deformed head. Sorry. SO glad it's a knee.

B: Hear hear on the FB. I have some annoying friends that post 20 times a day their liberal agenda. I find myself on FB less and less. So then are they really my firends?

Wilder Family said...

Amen Holly. I for some reason read blogs that are like the facebook updates you talk about just to be annoyed. And then I feel super lame because I'm not growing a garden and sewing quilts, and preparing outrageous crazy themed dinners for my toddlers just cause its Arbor day. Why do I do that?

Then I just go back to cooking my mac and cheese from a box and remind myself, that is just not real life, and those people are not being real.

Ginger said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tolly+L+L said...

Ryan, I've honestly asked myself that question, "AM I JUST JEALOUS?" But the truth of the matter is that I'm not jealous when someone posts that their house is sparkling clean, their homemade bread is baking in the oven and their "hubby"
will be home in ten minutes for a night out on the town....I'm just 100% annoyed. Because why do they want us to know? Just tell me that. WHY DO THEY WANT US TO KNOW?

I may just need a Facebook break altogether. Just to cool off a bit...

Lindsey and David said...

Do you know what comment annoys me the most… "I am so stressed and there's just not enough hours in the day", or some post along those lines.

I want to comment "Why are you on facebook if you're sooooo busy?"

I'm right there with you Holly.

But then there are posts that I enjoy and look forward to. Like Kelli's, for example. They're funny, she doesn't brag, and it's not always the same old same old.

Tolly+L+L said...

Haha good call Lindsey. And I agree; I look forward to so many of my friends' updates as well. There's just always those ONE or TWO that sort of make you want to punch someone in the face.

tod said...

this is exactly why i like myspace way better. i feel like i can be myself and post whatever pictures that i want and nobody can stop me...

Amy Bolyard said...

I'm with Tod 100%.

Berkley said...

Haha. I was just talking to Skigh about this the other night. I agree, there are some people who post statuses to start a conversation or want someone else's opinion about something or just want to feel connected to people (especially when you're at home with kids all day). But yeah, there are some people whose statuses without fail are something like, "Just finished vacuuming, making homemade soup, and am now watching the kids play." Or, "I'm so glad I was able to finish all the cleaning and ironing so I can spend time with my family this weekend." (This was actually a girl's status a couple days ago.) Or those who are always proclaiming they have the best husband (hubby) in the world. Once in a while, I can take and somewhat understand. All the time, there's some other issue going on.

carey said...

My friend and I were just talking about the same thing. Are these fb people's lives really this great or are they just trying to convince everyone, including themselves, that their life is great? That's what's appealing about your blog, Holly, it feels real, like my life. Just kinda great, filled with real life normal good stuff and some bad crap that happens. Keep being wonderfully mediocre like the rest of us!
Carey (in Phoenix!)

Tolly+L+L said...

Welcome to Carey in Phoenix! Glad to meet you.

Here's my final (maybe not final) thought on this: I think we all have insecurities. Some of us may be insecure about our thighs (I have friends who are...), some of us may be insecure about our marriages others may feel inadequate as mothers or employees...the list goes on. Maybe these annoying FB friends of ours are struggling but don't want anyone to know.

But still, it's annoying. What if we all just posted what we really felt: "I'm 40 lbs. overweight and depressed" or "Sometimes I wish I hadn't married my wife" or "I watched five hours of reality TV tonight"? Maybe privacy would fly out the window but it would make for better FB. And I think we'd like each other more, too, because our lives would seem more real.

KelliJamison said...

Holly...please see my FB comment today, it is dedicated to you. Feel free to comment however you see fit:)

I've often wanted to write those exact words "NO ONE CARES"...maybe one day I'll grow a pair and just do it. I may lose a (FB) friend over it, but it's worth the experiment right?

Dan said...

Just finished up my 8 mile run, now I'm off to the airport. Man, that flight to Taipei is going to be a bear.

Jon and Ali said...

word.

Tolly+L+L said...

Exactly.

Ann Dee said...

Holly. You are rockin' it. BIG TIME. I love you.

Megan said...

21 comments. Who are you.

You know how I feel about this subject. I enjoy blogging because it gives me something to do, I get to share what i"m thinking/doing with my friends and family, it's fun, and my family begs me to show them pictures of my life here in Canada.

I equally enjoy being a total peeper into other peoples lives. I really don't mind when people do a little boasting about their romantic anniversary's, cute kids, wonderful dinners, etc. It just REALLY bugs me when I personally know that their life is not so perfect. I hate when people lie. Just don't post it if it is not true, you know?!

I also really don't enjoy the term 'hubby'. One of my least favorites.

As far as Facebook goes, I love to read people's updates as pure entertainment. Some I check up on specifically because they are so ridiculous. It entertains me. I have this one friend whose post the other day read something like this... "while doing my morning 100 crunches, I like to wear a clarifying facial ream. It is really great for my complexion." I was like, WHAT! Is this advise for the masses?, a public service announcement?, tips for looking as good as you?!

Anyhoo.... keep posting discussion topics and get some ads up in here.

Alana said...

Try being single and on FB! I'm pretty sure it does more bad than good. Everyone warned me about it before I joined... maybe I should have listened! I wonder the same thing... how is all this social media gonna affect us long term?

So funny - I finally put up picture's of me and ace on face book and it felt like a really big step :). Love you Hol.