It gets harder?

On Sunday I was sitting in church. Tired. Watching Larry run up to the front of the chapel (again) and watching Lennon march up and down the aisles stealing toys/food then forcing kids to eat his pretzels. I was too tired to move or care.

Church wears me out these days. We run after both kids almost the entire time. Despite our best efforts, a woman still commented to me, "Wow, my mom would've NEVER let us get away with wandering around like that in church!"  I look around the chapel sometimes and think every other kid can sit still. Not those Wevers; their mom let's them get away with everything and they even smell like bacon on Fast Sunday!

So as church ended, the man sitting on our row introduced me to his 12 year old son. I commented at how nice it must be to have a child who sits in church and behaves himself. How nice it must be to have a child that age at all. He shook his head and insisted:

"No way...it only gets harder. Enjoy these days while you can."

Sorry?

How often do we hear this? My mom says it, grandparents have said it, older friends say it. I don't really buy it. I just nodded and smiled but here's what I wanted to say:

"Gets harder? So when's the last time you changed a blow-out diaper in public? Did your 12 year old son dress as Spiderman yesterday to run errands only to throw a huge tantrum at the entrance of Blockbuster? When's the last time you cleaned up his breakfast/lunch/dinner off the floor on your hands and knees? No carseats?  That sounds rough. Does your 12 year old cry for days at a time because he's teething? Oh he's not teething? Hmmm. It must be hard that he can babysit himself while you run errands. It's probably difficult to watch him get into the car on his own and buckle his own seatbelt. It must wear you out that he dresses, feeds, and bathes himself everyday. Brushes his own teeth. Makes his own bed. Puts his own dishes away. Mows the lawn. Responds to punishments ie: grounding. It's probably tough when you go to the pool and watch him swim on his own without floaties/inner tubes/arm wings or clinging to you. Does your 12 year old sling soil all over the house from potted plants everyday?  Does he throw all his food off his plate to signal he's done?  Does he empty cupboards of pots and pans or climb into the dishwasher while you're trying to clean the kitchen?  Yes, it must really be hard to sit week after week in church next to a quiet 12 year old who doesn't even move the entire time. You're right. Excuse me while I run to the front of the chapel to retrieve my son while he kicks and screams and I fake-smile until I get him out into the hallway."

I realize I'm simplifying it. I know other issues become difficult but honestly, people who are past the baby/toddler stage forget so quickly. Give them a solid week with young kids again and they'd beg for that 12 year old back.

It just proves that we're rarely content in our life's current stage. When I was in high school I just wanted to go to college...then life would really start! I got to college and suddenly I was buying groceries (deodorant costs $5?!) and realized high school was easy. Then towards the end of college I dreamed of working full-time and making money...no more finals! Working full-time came and I sometimes dreaded teaching tired sophomores at 6:45 in the morning. When I was dating I wanted to be married. Some days in marriage, dating sounds so appealing again (to Tod of course). And now a 12 year old son seems so easy compared to this. My good friend Kelli lives a dream life in New York City but recently blogged about being in a rut. If it happens to her, it must happen to all of us.

My mom warned that this would happen and begged me never to "wish away any of the phases" of my kids' lives. It's not that I want them to grow up today but how can it get HARDER when it looks so much EASIER?

Although p.s. these boys are so cool.