Step 1: If your child ever splits his chin/forehead/lip open and it's after 7 pm, butterfly it and hope for the best. Blood will be gushing, blahblahblah; no time for E.R. waits.
Step 2: If your child wakes up looking like this (above) assume it's allergies for TWO DAYS before taking him in for much needed antibiotics. He'll be just fine.
Step 3: When you have the sweetest kid on earth, be sure to put him in time-out when he hits his brother, even when he looks like:
And finally Step 4:
Secretly hope your children aren't invited to birthday parties. Why? Because when they are, you forget until the day of, which means no time to buy a present, which means finding books your mom gave you from a Scholastic book order (somewhere in the garage), wrapping them in Christmas paper (hey, my mom used to use newspaper)(love you Mom) and sending Tod because you don't want to see that your present was the worst one.
Although he'll come home after the party and you'll ask if it was the worst one and he'll say YES.